Bella and Hello Kitty Glasses

I Missed the Early Signs

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Never feel bad when you missed those early signs of autism. I did, I missed those early signs myself and was in denial that something could be wrong with my daughter. I had a suspicion of something going on but I didn’t know what. Every time I thought about it I feel like dirt. I would tell myself that I was working hard and going to college to give my daughter a better life but that’s no excuse still at least for me. But it happens and once it was all pieces together and I found acceptance I knew it would be okay. I missed the early signs.

 I think back to the time where Bella was a “wild child,” who didn’t sleep on a schedule or on her own, didn’t make any eye contact, wasn’t potty trained no matter how hard we tried and had the tendency to run off plus she was not communicating the was a child should.

With her dad, she was one behavior while with me she was another kind of behavior. But I just think she knew who dad was and who is mommy. Dad was strict and mommy I love and nurturing.  Connor and I knew something was wrong when Bella wasn’t meeting her milestone that she was going backward instead of forward.

We placed Bella into daycare, but she was dismissed from the program for her lack of safety awareness, tantrums, running off from the daycare staff. They also had suspicious of autism. I started to investigate autism and talked to a friend of mine from my church. This friend watched her while there were a vacation bible school activities. After a few days after that, I asked to tell me what she observed.  She told me that she sees signs of autism and advised me to go to the school board to get Bella a diagnosis.

Baker Bella
We have a long way to have Bella making cupcake mix with minimal assistance in mixing batter.

Preschool was coming up, and while we were waiting for the appointment for the initial test I enrolled Bella into a charter school…that lasted two days.  I was able to get a baby sister who worked with children with autism. I needed someone who knew exactly what to do and how to manage my daughter. Everything was wonderful at first, and then there was an incident with a cat. 
When it came to the doctor oh my goodness she never had a suspicion of autism though she has seen Bella since she was a baby.  When everything got so bad with doctor visit instead of the pediatrician seeing Bella she would send the nurse practitioner to take care of my daughter. We never changed doctors I didn’t want to there was purpose there. Her pediatrician sees Bella now and has seen the development of my daughter since she stopped seeing her.

Now, what did I miss? The early signs according to the National Autism Association are:

-Not responding to their name, they may appear deaf. *

-They are not pointing at objects or things of interest, or demonstrate interest.*

-Does not play “pretend” games with other children, parents, or with self. *

-They avoid eye contact*

-Usually, they want to be alone.

-Have difficulty understanding, or showing understanding, or other people’s feelings or their own.*

-Have no speech or delayed speech. ( They may have their own language like gibberish) *

-Repeat words or phrases over and over (echolalia)

-Give unrelated answers to questions

-Get upset by minor changes

-Have obsessive interests like trains, cars, animals.

-Flap their hands, rock their body, or spin in circles*

-Have unusual reactions (over or under-sensitivity) to the way things sound, smell, taste, look, or feel

-Have low to no social skills*

-Avoid or resist physical contact

-Demonstrate little safety or danger awareness*

-Reverse pronouns (e.g., says “you” instead of “I”)

I missed everything with a (*)

Remember that autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder all of this is in their brain. Their brains are wired differently so if you have a child and your not sure look here. Autism is impairment in these area below.

  • social impairments
  • cognitive impairments
  • communication difficulties
  • repetitive behaviors

Write everything down all of your observations, all of your concerns, and research.


Why do your own research? Because some doctors will make autism look like its the worst thing that can ever happen to you. I want you to know that it’s not and that is why you need to be prepared if they do or if they don’t. I say that because I have read different mom stories about their bad experiences with doctors and having that bad experience with our pediatrician. I want you to be prepared, stay positive, and embrace the diagnosis. Make your plan because the more you know, the more you can make happen for your children.

autism products

Today Bella is not the kid she was years ago. She makes eye-contact sometimes, partial verbal, points at the things she wants and ask for it. She plays pretend with me or by herself, ask questions, she stays with me and no longer runs off. We have a schedule with change  and fixated bedtimes. Life with Bella gets better everything single day. OH! she loves hugs and kisses. She’s sweet and very nuturing

Stefanie and Bella
Stefanie and Bella 


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<p>Stefanie Herrera is a lifestyle writer for everyday women. Writing about different and relatable topics. She is a mother to a child on the autism spectrum. Taking her time to learn all that she can and sharing life experiences as an autism mom. Currently, Stefanie holds an Associates degree in Psychology and is working on her Bachelor's degree in psychology. She also writes works fiction, art crafts, travels. The goal is to create a platform where women of all walks of life.</p>
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