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My daughter was born I thought I was going to be a mom. Never in a million years did it cross my brain and say “I’m going to be an autism mom,” nope. All the shock and disparity that came to me at that moment when I made cross references to online questionnaires and then have a professional tell me “Bella has autism, speech delay, and a learning disability.” As a parent, those words at first feel like your child just lost a future and all those great possibilities.
At first, that is what you think…lies
Being a mom to a child with autism is the most fantastic journey of my life. There so many downs and moments when you feel like you’re going to lose it. However, you don’t because that child is still a bundle of joy and all those fantastic moments where the small accomplishments become the moments of hope. Bella is high functioning, that means she’s closer to that more upper functioning side of the spectrum. Some people call it mild autism or go by a level.
We parents are given so much crap and painted a picture where autism looks, and it’s not. My daughter defined my life in a manner of appreciation for the little things. To stop and admire those moments when she’s thinking, playing imagination, singing, talking between natural language and Bella gibberish.
Whom would I have been without her? Would I have been that lost girl seven years ago? Dreaming big of Hollywood success? Directing and acting in movies like I originally wanted to do? Would I have been a mom who wanted nothing more to thrive in life and take her daughter on adventures? Instead of this woman who has been struggling to succeed while going after her true calling to help other women who are like me? Studying to be a clinical psychologist in the long run and work with families of special need children. To help women who got pregnant at a young age as I did.
Life as an autism mom is not a life for the faint of heart, but it’s a life that is worth every second of every day. Each day is a treasure that you admire because every day is a new day for Bella where she makes progress. Autism is label just a word for insurance and diagnosis sake.
Autism does not define who my daughter is; instead, my daughter determines what autism is.
Her speech delay is working progress, but she is a talker and a little singer. When she sings, I stop everything and listen to her beautiful voice. When she has that serious look in her eyes while she’s reading about the tooth fairy. When she called me mom for the first time after she started Pre-K, I cried because I thought I would never hear her call me that sacred word. You think it won’t happen because some professional think or day not to expect too much.
If you as a mother don’t fight for you’re child’s future and do everything in your power to get therapy, treatments, and stay behind it all then the doctor is right other then that they were all wrong. In the beginning, I went through a whirlpool of emotions that when I accepted the fact that my child has autism. I shifted gears and learned everything I could, and I decided that nothing was going to stop me from achieving a prosperous future for myself and my daughter.
Selfie Tips for the Autism Mom coming soon!